Fell Out of Oz

Christa Couture

Record Details

Released:
2005

Record Tracklist

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 “Breathless and intimate, Couture caresses the microphone with coy lyrics that discuss the very nature of emotional closeness over spartan, live-off the-floor arrangements for acoustic guitar, upright bass and brushy drums. ”
TV Week

“Thoughtful and graceful stuff comes from Couture. Oz’ loss is our gain.”
Brad Wheeler, Globe & Mail

“She sings with an intimacy that feels like you are being let in on a secret.”
Tom Harrison, The Province

Lyrics:
Jennifer Grey
Day 4
I Will
Scared, Too
Weight of the Wait
For Miette (Circuitry)
Fell Out of Oz
The Next Bed
London First
Sundries Like Mondays
Habitual

Jennifer Grey

Today is the last day I’m 23
But it’s been a good year (well, a good year for me)
Gina beside me always it seemed
We moved to the drive, we were living that dream
Of eastside Vancouver, wrong side of the tracks,
With the sun on our faces and the wind at our backs (and all that)
But ever since I crossed the ocean, ever since I followed that impulsive notion
That summer is so on my mind and I’m dreaming of those times…

David he drives us to the lake for the day
He’s Patrick Swayze I’m Jennifer Grey
We’re weakened with laughter, I fall in the water
I’m pushing down I want to touch the bottom
I know that we’re young and it’s slipping away, but that was a very good day

Today I turn 24; I turn in my bed and look at the floor
To the pages I write on but they’re blown away
The city being papered with the things I’ve been trying to say
It’s been a month since I’ve been in this town
Still don’t know which way’s up still don’t know which way’s down
But as I’m starting another year, I’m happy to say I’m happy here
Though that summer is still on my mind and I miss those times…

That night at the railway club I am on stage
Playing my happiness my wounds and my rage
And the people are listening but it’s hard to say
If they get what I’m saying or they just think I’m crazy
I know that I’m young and it’s slipping away, but that was a very good day

Where will I fall when thrown? Where will I call home?

I know that you’re listening, but it’s hard to say
If you get what I’m saying or they just think I’m crazy
I know that I’m young and it’s slipping away, but today is a very good day.

Day 4

I cannot sit still, I will twitch, and I will travel
I am leaving what remains of me as I unravel
I wandered through the side streets, fell in love with Amsterdam
We weave through the canals as the lines across my hand
In the sounds of early morning I am sleepless and inspired
I am swimming in the city’s heat, I am fueling the fire
It’s an insight, it’s the twilight, found somewhere in between
The flight across the ocean and a pot infused dream

Here I go (I am a bluebird, I am a blackbird, I can fly)

He tells me that I’m solid says ‘will you come my way?”
I wonder if he knew me better what else he’d have to say
It’s a kiss to wake me up and a hand to help me down
I am giddy with my freedom I am warming to my sound
And it sounds like go, so here I go

Thank you for starting me off and thank you for the invitation to join you
The beauty of the people we meet
Oh the beauty as they come, the beauty as they leave
The moments in between carry me

Immortal moments – the opera and the moon
He goes there in a second, with his words I go there too
The music fills my ears, the guitar circles the room
It’s everybody’s story and everybody’s truth

I Will

I open the floodgates on this; I open my mind too far,
The ocean came between us and it made a star
We wished upon it, we wished for love
‘Cause we like each other, but it’s not enough
We were in the summer and the seasons go
The leaves turn colour, we hang mistletoe
With all this passing I am standing still
You ask will I be waiting – yes I will

I will always think of you fondly
I will only get a little bit sad
I will, if you don’t come back

Well it’s out of habit when I make the call
When I chase the rabbit and when I fall
And I go down down into wonderland
And I go down when you take my hand
You were my first perfect, can I be blamed?
Can I get a rain cheque, can I play the game?
I’ll light the fire, compose the phrase
I’ll join the choir, and sing your praise

I’m not dying for this, I’m just trying for this
I don’t want to miss another chance

I will always think of you
I will only get a little bit sad at the fact
You don’t come back

Scared, Too

You say my voice changed – that’s the smoke and whisky
You say my heart changed – that’s the boy that kissed me
In the back of a Cambridge pub, we were fighting for the same cause
To be loved

And that’s a good fight though at times it’s a bitter fight
That will keep waking you up all hours of the night
Saying you can’t sleep no, you can’t dream no
There’s just too much to think about

So I’m scared – it’s true
Like everyone in this room must be scared too
Aren’t you?

See those boys with their cynical eyes and their false smiles
They’re trying to bring out love down
Resenting our happiness, doubting its innocence
So we’ve got to be vigilant

You say my voice changed – that’s the smoke and whisky
You say my heart changed – that’s the girl that kissed me
In the back of a black top cab
We were fighting back

Weight of the Wait

Will you make it safe will you make it mine?
Will you take another weight off me – I can’t carry
I wasn’t meant to in this body I wasn’t meant to by the time I’m thirty
I won’t carry

The weight of the wait
(I’m sure you’re packed for the road, I’m sure you’re packed for the cold)

He tells me beauty’s in the symmetry
So where’s the beauty in a girl like me?
But he can’t answer
Yes it’s always just a few more steps
Yes it’s always just left right left
But left don’t answer

To be a bird and turn so suddenly
(It’s the same thing every day in day out – waiting for a phone call)
To go from so low to so high I would like that
(Then in a moment when I hit the pavement day in day out – waiting for a fall)

Will you take another weight off me, will you take me?

For Miette (Circuitry)

What’s this growing inside her? Messin’ with her circuitry
That one day will be standing beside her with the right to know
She took the long way through the night to her heart
To pose a question: can you play this part?
And from the dark, the reply – no

No I can’t make it through the wild
Leave me tangled, save my child

She’s running now to the water
To wash away the hands of your father
To wash away you
But no matter what she tries she can’t seem to
Yes you’re a runway and she’ll never come to land
She’ll keep on circling she’s crashing on foreign sand
Just try to understand – we all just do the best we can

Give me time I will come and find you
You will always be my baby
And baby – forgive me

‘Cause I can’t make it through
Leave me tangled, save you

What’s this growing inside me? Messin’ with my circuitry
That one day will be standing beside me, with the right to know

Fell Out of Oz

I fell out of oz straight into training bras
I got a job, and my boyfriend was all the magazine said that he ought to be
Then I kissed a girl, and she kissed me back
Suddenly my world was under attack, but oh the forces were me. Silly me.
I know some men are tall I’ve seen them all scraping skies – look up
Some men are small, just ask my thighs. Oh my my my.
I may very well be just a pretty young thing
But you seem to be into that kind of thing
So I play my award winning line – and you’re mine

From places I shouldn’t mention I think you know what the signs are
At least I hope you do if I’ve to show you well honey, we won’t get far

I’ve no right to complain to you, you walk much rougher terrain than I do
But if it’s all the same – do you mind if I cry? I could use a good cry
She broke my heart in exactly two places, subsequently in a million small pieces
Easily mistaken for dust and swept under the rug

Here she comes – America. See that banner wave
Here she comes – America. But there’s no one left to save.

The Next Bed

In the summer she was a runner, she was fast
But now she’s walking on her hands
From the bathroom back to her bed
Where her mind is willing living but her body is willing dead
Yup, she’s throwing up blood and bile every half hour
Slipping into sleep in between
Her hair is wet with sweat the air is scared and sour
She’s twelve but she won’t see thirteen

And in the next bed another bald head soon will wake
To find a Frankenstein body in her once perfect body’s place
Try to find a reason for this, try to find a reason

Down the hall another screaming call
Some kid for his mom ‘because he’s scared
Yes he woke up alone went to reach for the phone
But he couldn’t ‘because his arm’s not there
And she closes her eyes to the sound as he dies
But she was told to be a brave girl
She thinks a brave girl never cries

In the next bed another bald head soon will wake
To find that in the night another one was taken away
Try to find a reason

Welcome home – “yes it’s like home” she says five years later
It’s almost comforting how familiar the sterile walls and halls are
Not to mention the men in white coats
Who bookend their bad news with bad jokes
They say “you’ve done pretty well kid at least better than most did”.

And it’s true so she feels endlessly grateful
But sometimes her survival seems shameful
‘Cause she tries to find a reason, don’t try to find a reason.

London First

She came to me in a dream
Like a seed planted, or a bomb, rather
She said “you better hurry up and leave
‘Because it’s borrowed time you’re on hon.”

So I’m having a famous blue raincoat moment
As I am trying to write you
As I like where I’m living, as I will be forgiving

Poets they tell me all that I need is the soft London rain that falls at my feet
Forming in puddles but oceans they seem, and I am swimming across lost in their deep

We sail through the city we head for the airport
I know I’ll lose it if I’m not careful
My arms around him I can’t take him with me
Baby I love you so let’s do this quickly

And now they tell me all that I need is the Vancouver sun that falls in my dreams
Slowly becoming a soft summer night and I am drifting across lost in its light

I’m hoping that this time there will be some changes
And this time they’ll come from the inside out
Leaving is one thing, forgetting’s another
And I can’t erase you my lingering lover.

Sundries Like Mondays

I thought that I heard you thought I understood
But I see now I never could
And I thought I could help you fight your battles
But I can just love you and hope that it matters
I thought if I climbed to the top of your mountain
I’d share in the view of what you see as small
But I’m standing here at the top of your mountain
And all I can see is how far you fall

Nothing is how I thought it would be – that’s another point for naivety
But what changed is what I was sure would stay the same
I’m no good at this game

I thought I was a warrior thought I could be fierce
But I hid in the bathroom I covered my ears
And I thought I could scream at the top of my lungs
But I try to scream – nothing comes

I thought all this shit was so important but now it’s clear:
Only one thing matters to me and he isn’t here

Nothing is how I tried to make it be – that’s another point for futility

I thought that I got it, thought I’d die in peace
But as it stands I will be lucky if I get some sleep

Habitual

In the truth that daylight brings I won’t wake you up I’ll just find my things
And try not to trip on all these no strings
Well. The faces change but the fact remains
I just stay the same, untouched and estranged

But the less of I know of you will be the less I have to let go of
You know that I’m just passing through so don’t show me love

You trace the lines on my back
Ask “when did you do that? And what does it mean?”
I am trying not to cry ‘cause that little butterfly says a little too much about I

And the less you know of this will be the less you’ll have to let go of
You know that I’m just passing through so I can’t show you love

But something is wrong
I feel that something is wrong
Even the safety of this song can’t keep me from that

Just for the sake of taking a break, just for the sake of change
Let’s just say that I’m okay – kay?
I will not be denied the chance to do this right
So let’s call it a night

The less I know of you will be the less I’ll have to let go of
You know that I’m just passing through, so I can’t show you love.